and after the dream fulfilled
"then what?"
waiting
ready
to begin
to want
again
after "wanting" so much
comes "having"
the "having" being harder than the 32 years of "wanting"
and then the greatest hardest newest challenge:
"to want - AGAIN"
where do dreams go after they are found?
where do birds fly after they have
well...
"flown" ?
dreams
true dreams
do not begin at night
but in the middle of the day
somewhere between the bed and the bus line...
theyre tearing down sultang
the night before my dream came true
that is the place that heard my fears over a bottle of beer and a lot of smoke
that is the place you found me at
before i found you the next
these days
i watch them tear down the ugly walls
men sitting on chairs around a fire
the sky exposed from the labor of their hands
the walls smeared in paint as if someone high on lsd or shrooms was having the trip of their life
only to discover the next day why painting when high is a regrettable thing
they are now ripped from the top as if a five year old decided to forgo scissors
and i hear the whisper again
- its time - let go - begin again - only here can you sense the sky
mpls my beloved but mpls my ceiling
seoul my tormented lover but seoul my endless sky
it is not the destruction of a dream
it is the rebuilding of a place that lasted years longer than it should have
that was stunted in its own lack of growth
-- i am so much taller than you know --
what do dreams become after they are gathered in the relief of letting go of 32 years of tears
what do dreams become after you have finally found your face?
where do dreams begin
after the only words to describe fall under the cliches of:
"magical"
"mysterious"
"miraculous"
and
"fairy tale come to life"
-- better than anything KBS could have scripted and filmed...
they tell (me)
"this only proves you can have it all"
"but i already do"
i say to (them)
... how do you dream again
after you did the impossible?
-- am i to turn water into wine?
-- walk on water?
-- turn fishes and loaves into one big surplus picnic?
-- rise from the dead?
i am not holy and i am not one third of some perplexing trinity...
so what is there left to want?
to see the world that ive already 3 to 4 continents explored?
to be what i already am no matter how it is my bills get paid?
to expand my heart when it's already burst?
what does life grow into after you no longer want but instead already have?
"dream the next impossible thing"
im told
to which i respond
"that seems... implausible"
... today ive passed sultang twice
now darkened inside
the trippy ripped up walls challenging the night to finish them off
i see in that corner that still exists but may be gone tomorrow or the next
us sitting shivering heating our hands over a candle
building dreams from fears
how for that moment you cracked
and i saw you for all that is you
and you saw me for all that is me
and for that night we had love that we took the wrong direction
i see us talking
maybe back then i saw the me from now passing by - perhaps that is why i shuddered at the thought of ghosts haunting us into reality
i see us then
in that corner
that each time i sat there after... i drank out of remembrance for the sacred-ness of how life is so ordinary the night before 32 years of an impossible dream is found sitting cross legged with right hand over heart that laurie had foretold me to know...
these days i pass by the bar
watching walls disappear and blue sky reveal itself
and i think the same thing
i hear the same thing
i carry the same thought
"that night is long over - your new day is rising - the sky is revealing -
kim child,
its time to start wanting again."
- kim thompson. seoul. s. korea - thursday 27 jan 2011 - 19.35
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