response to frank o'hara

자전

프랭크 오 하라

한역 김 연복



어렸을 때에 난

학교 운동장 구석에서

혼자서만

놀았다.



인형도

게임도 시들했다

동물들은 나를 피했고

새들은 날아가 버렸다



누군가가 나를 찾으면

난 나무 뒤에 숨어서

" 난 고아다" 하고

소리쳤다



그러다, 보라, 오늘 !

난 모든 아름다움의 중심에 있다

이런 시들을 쓰면서...

상상이나 해보라.



Autobiographia Literaria

Frank O, Hara

When I was a child

I played by myself in a

corner of the schoolyard

all alone.



I hated dolls and I

hated games, animals were

not friendly and birds

flew away



If anyone was looking

for me I hid behind a

tree and cried out " I am

an orphan."



And here I am, the

center of all beauty !

writing these poems !

Imagine !



-------------

response to frank o'hara:



a little dude ranch

all alone

eating lunch

and for the first and only time

feeling peace

cuz the two boys whod mock were inside

(two boys whom i later learned to tame

through self deprecation ...

which became both my salvation and my jail cell)



i couldnt say the "r" in mark

i was (so) afraid to speak words like

"world"

"art"

"write"

"word"

and my very brother's name or who he was...

and yet all i wanted was to be

an "aw-tist" and a "ww-iter"



childhood was threatening

from an early age i mourned

how id never have sun bleached blonde hair

or eyes of blue

* such shortcomings were sure signs of ugliness

id never be...

maria von trapp in any school production



jesus and his dad were these nice but mean guys

who lived upstairs

always loving

but always threatening

with their thug named

"angel of death"

who usually liked to pass-over

just before easter

i had no choice but to

swear allegiance

if i wanted to make it to the 1st grade all intact



i'd lie on the wall to wall

carpeting

playing with words

drawing up blueprints for

a future house

and life



id tell her all the things id wonder about

HER

and she'd tell me

id see HER in heaven so not to worry

* this only made me worry more... as from what i knew of heaven... by the time i saw her there i wouldnt care id just be strolling streets of gold whilst stuck in a church service that was scheduled to run for an eternity...



id dream of london

and the world

id dream of women

and songs played out on the piano

id dream of tattoos and cigarettes

and sitting up in trees drawing it all out

id wake up thinking

how i never dreamed of HER

and yet... and yet...



when i was 9 and met poetry

thats when i suddenly knew that

all of it could come true...



so here i am

artist writer of words who has seen the world and who found HER (bringing my kind of heaven down to earth)

and so...

here i am...

this orphan turned woman

with jet black hair that gets more attention than a gangnam pampered poodle

here i am

this child who in hiding found respite

this tattood smoking kim hae kim

who has lived where maria von trapp once sang

this dreaming kid afraid of most but drawing up blueprints for the future

this who i was

and

who i am

this me

who no longer has to eat alone

no more afraid of things that involve the letter

"r"



... yes, frank o'hara this life i did

imagine!



-- kim thompson. tuesday 11.35 12 april 11. seoul. s. korea