want in particle form

*inspired by imagery etc from "nostalgia for the light."

i want to
gather my bones from this
eastern desert
fragments of stars
strewn in
black tarred pavement

i want to
"bring my sons from afar"
my collective self
dna
bones
marrow
flesh
hair
all of it
back to one place
- me.

i want to reclaim
the ocean floor
dig it up -- all cracked into
salt and broken clay
put it in my heart's pocket
sprinkle it with
tears
and the dust of my own
movement

i want to
call out to the bones
lying parched beneath the heat of time
and command them
to
"awaken"

i want the return to self
that one goes into the desert for
beneath some sky
of which i am born
to be fed by ravens
and brought back to health from
temptations

i want to write poems
from words that have been
collected from scattered sentences
strewn across this universe
i want to know this world
not from a book
but from my own
eyes
heart
flesh
being
bones
marrow
sinews
all of it
swallow it whole
until i am a canyon
of my own excavations

i want to unbury
the past that is strewn beneath my feet
in this galaxy of urban dust
i want to find the worlds
that sounds created
light years
before
all this.

i want
to want
what wanting wants

i want
to stare into space
and find the earth
my past
my ancestors
my star particled bones
put it all back together
and say
"yes, this
is why ive committed
to this
seeming desert
because only from here
can i see
the constellations
of the present just
seconds passed."

so today
like most
i take my words
carefully from my paint tattered pockets
and fling them sky high
like oracles
seeing where on heaven's abyss
and earth's unknowns
they land
forming
constellation maps
leading me
back

home.


kim thompson. friday 2 sept. seoul. s. korea in the morning and the afternoon