i miss the light

i miss the light
i miss the dark that is broken by
one circle shaft of light

i miss sitting in the black of the back
waiting for
"10"
"5"
youre up
curtain call

i miss the beating heart all day
i cant eat
but i dont wanna faint
fritos and slim jim will get me through until tonight

and then
the pulsing in my stomach
slows
breath begins to even

sit in the black in the back
reciting lines to self
the zennest thing i'll ever do
just me and words
and breath and breathing

walk up
find your mark
UFO suspended light
beams down

and its otherworldly

time suspends
speeds up and does not move an inch

because...
i know this

because the words were written
long before i set them down to any kind of
page
electronic
or
inked

its like marriage

its like

sex

words body soul heart brain being
all just merge as one

and people say
"you just like the way we look at you"

... but ive never done it for you
only ever done this for
... me
because i need to
because i have to
because there is no other way but this

standing in the light

its the one of only few times when i am
100% plus the other parts all there

... i can hear you breathing
i can hear you shift your feet
turn your pages
sometimes
sniffle
i can hear a tear drop slide

and the words take shape

here in seoul
these days

there is no light to walk out into
i am waiting in the darkness of the under
maybe 10-20 feet below the surface of the city
i am waiting
for the
10
5
youre up
curtain call

i am waiting for the light
to call my name again

only next time
its not just gonna be one single shaft of circle light
not light just from the side

next time it says
"youre up"

we're all going blind

- kim thompson 15.49 thursday 17 june 2010 seoul, s. korea