this is for...

* inspired in part by christy's recent poem "You Bring Out the Korean Adoptee in Me"



this is for
the
west palm beach
chlorine green-bleached
blonde
peeling
tan
that
i could only
see

never

be


this is for
the
corrie aubrey alli katie stephanie dana brooke karen becca becky
cheerleading
homecoming queens
- and her court
that i could only vote for

never

be


this is for
the
other karen
other clara
other roland
- chinese family parents look like them
that i could only wonder at

never

be


this is for
the lake worth highschool varsity
this is how you do defense
all african american
plus one white girl
and then me
basketball team
whose bench i could only
warm

never

be


this is for
the mrs prill
p.e. and french language teacher
who mistook me for the
karen chin and clara li in class
but never saw my hand when she called my name
"kim thompson"...
whose face was always a reminder that i could just
shout out "hey thats me"
but

never

be


this is for
the tka we love jesus
go to church 3 times a week
plus sunday school
plus wednesday chapels followed by prayer meetings
plus daily bible classes and devotions
plus memorize the old king james kind
dont drink or smoke
dont have sex before youre married
and its "adam and eve" not "adam and steve"
"if god said why should i let you into my heaven"
evangelism exploded
kind of christian that i tried on for so long
but just could

never

be


this is for
the baltic, alpine, scandanavian, venezuelan, occasional british
beauties
that i could only walk with
talk with

but

never

be


this is for
the tatt'd queer-do's
artists
best friends ive ever known from the p-horn "represent"
shout out to "the gayborhooders"
mama mentors laurie carlos'

that never made me think of all the ways

that

i

could

never

be

only helped me see...


turned this poem to


who its really for


all the ones lost like me at the beginning
raised between two three maybe four or five worlds

all the ones who are han born... han kang / river han separated...
umma seeking
umma found
umma bound
umma umma which one of yous my umma
and what am i s'posed to do about my western white mom who
- praises jesus for
- is threatened by
- is scared of
- wants to meet
- wants to thank
- thinks 3rd world
- thinks not mine
the woman i always called "my real mom" now "umma"

how this poem is really for

all the ones 1st - 3rd who sometimes spend too much time in house fighting
forgetting we are bound by K-100 numbers
forgetting that which was created of the war
is not the same as that which was created of the greed and need
and social failings of our motherland
forgetting that
we are white assimilated
sometimes korean forgotten
forgetting that
anyways we're just people
trying

how this poem is really for
all the ones whose roots feel washed away
by our sea of korea not japan
loss of knowing

how this poem is really for

not all the things and ones that we could never be

but all the things

we


are.


- kim thompson. wed 19 may 11.39 seoul, korea